Description
- ITS LIKE CHEECH AND CHONG HAD A BABY Do you remember what it was like to be a kid? No stress. No problems. Just playing and taking naps. Those were the days. You can have those carefree days again with Sloth Dreams Patience Putty. Its therapeutic and fun. What more could you ask for?
- TIME TO SLOW WAY DOWN When youve got nothing to be in a hurry for, life can be quite beautiful. If sloths teach one thing by example, its to stop and smell the rosesand probably eat them. Theyre sloths, what do you expect? Stop worrying about life, grab some putty and just enjoy.
- SLOTHS ARE JUST AWESOME Its a sloth. Do you even need another reason for buying this? Theyre the cutest animals on the planet with the best attitude ever. They look stoned 24-hours a day and have the munchies all the time. Who wouldnt want to be a sloth? Sloth Dreams Patience Putty is the closest thing you can getlegally.
- PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE AND KEEPS YOU FROM THROAT-PUNCHING Weve all had that fantasy where the blowhard from work wont shut up, and you just punch him so hard he drops like a brick. In the real world, thats called assault and generally frowned upon in both the business and legal communities. Sloth Dreams Patience Putty keeps you from throat-punching, and lets you keep that 401K funded.
- SPECIALLY DESIGNED TO SOOTHE AWAY STRESS: Release tension as you loosen the putty by squeezing and kneading it in your hands. Its basically sloth essence in a tin that fits in your desk drawer or purse for immediate relief whenever you need it.
Sloth Dreams Patience Putty
My dad is Mr. Sloth; Im the dude!
There are tons of people in this world that wear out your patience. The lady at the DMV named Gladys that cant print you a new drivers license, because you dont remember your third-grade teachers name. That lazy dude at work who steals all your ideas. When your patience wears thin, its time to Zen out and be like the mighty sloth. Sloth Dreams Patience Putty lets you squeeze and pull your stress out, so you can take on the day.
Do you ever wonder what sloths dream about? Its probably nothing energetic. Theyre dreaming about taking 15 hours to eat a leaf and the 4-day lovemaking session with that fetching mold-covered sloth two trees over. Do you ever see a sloth stressed out? Theres no such thing as sloth-pattern baldness, because they are masters of Dont Give A #%$^.
If sloth is a sin, Ill take it Sloth Dreams Patience Putty puts all the emotional stability and sheer chill that every sloth represents and packages it into a cute collectible tin. Sloths dont have a hustle and bustle lifestyle like you do. Their lives consist of move here, nap, eat, nap, nap, move again, poop once a week. Sloths are the original stoners, and you can have that relaxed attitude with this stress putty. The only a way a sloth can be more mellow is if it were actually dead. Even then, it takes other sloths two weeks to figure it out.
People are frustrating. Children are annoying. Bosses are bossy. Your patience can only take so much. Its time to master your inner sloth, and let stress melt away with every push and pull of this magical putty. Its a fabulously chillaxing addition to care packages, gift baskets, birthday presents, and Christmas stocking stuffers.
FOR NOVELTY USE ONLY
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